- Him [via text]: Do you look like your photos?
- Me [via text]: Yes, the last one is from 3 months ago.
- Him [in person at coffee the next day]: Sorry, the last two people I met didn’t look like their photos.
- Me: That’s so annoying!
- Him: Their pictures were really old. And then one had the nerve to tell me I’m not actually 5’6″!
- Me [to a friend the next day]: He’s really not 5’6″. Maybe 5’3″. And his photos were at least a couple years old.
Most people lie in their profiles. Sometimes we lie without even realize it. My profile says I do yoga–well, I do, even though yesterday I technically hadn’t done it in months. I did eventually do yoga again, right? …We’re not necessarily intending to lie, we’re just presenting a version of ourselves–a six-month-old version, or a version to which we aspire, or a version that saves us from admitting that maybe whatever we’re posting had no basis in reality. But even that is forgivable. When someone’s profile says they like salsa-dancing, or going camping, or have a passion for antiquing, I take it with a grain of salt–antiquing is best done with your significant other when first co-habitating, so if I find out you haven’t actually gone antiquing in ages, I won’t hold it against you. However, there are some lies that are more annoying.
For example, there are some profiles that clearly have photos spanning at least the last decade. This one guy whose profile keeps popping up indicates that he’s forty, but in one photo he still has the baby face of a man still in his twenties. And the thing is, he’s an attractive guy–but when one of your photos may have been taken in the 90s, it’s a little off-putting. And it makes me suspect that even his most recent photo may be woefully out of date.
But lying about your height is in a whole different category.
One of my photos is very flattering: my hair is done, I’m wearing lipstick, and the angle of my flirty glance at the camera is just right. I rarely look like that in daily life–but give me an hour and the right angle, and I will definitely pull that off again. However, saying you’re 6 feet tall when you barely make 5’10” is just silly. If you’re interested in someone short, having a huge difference in height is pretty comedic and may actually be a deterrent. And if you want to go out with someone tall, they’ll be able to tell–trust me!–and it’ll probably be even more annoying to them that you’re lying.
So for pete’s sake, have current photos, and just put down your height–your actual height. What bugged me about the 5’3″ guy wasn’t that he was short–seriously, I’m short too–but that he was doing the exact same thing he was paranoid about me doing, only with numbers instead of pictures. If lying about your height is aspirational, it’s pretty pointless!